Wednesday, November 28, 2012

The Day That Wouldn't End

I have NO IDEA what the deal was today - it was not a bad day, not in the least. I got up on time. I had plenty of time for my morning coffee. There were no accidents in my way on the drive to work.

There was a lot of work in the queue, but not "too" much - not enough to overwhelm. I didn't get interrupted or bothered. The Manipulator didn't hang out at my desk. My cube mate was out today, so I didn't have to listen to the crunching and sucking of sunflower seeds.

So why was it such an awful day?

I have no idea... sometimes I think it's just something in the air. All I wanted to do was go home. The afternoon dragged on... and every time I looked at the clock, it didn't seem like I was any closer to quitting time than I was the last time I looked at the clock.

I couldn't believe it when the clock finally rang 4 p.m. I got my keys, and almost ran out the door.

I had one errand to run, and I was not going to do it. I just wanted to go home. But the errand was dropping something off at the lab, and as I didn't want to hold up my results any longer than necessary, I went there... grudgingly. It was way out of my way.

Dropped off the sample, and came home. Home sweet home. Opened up a bottle of wine, sat down, and played fifteen hundred games of solitaire.

Now I'm starting to finally feel more like myself. Two more days until Friday. I think I can hang...

Thursday, November 15, 2012


The year is almost over, and I did not make good on my promise to write more in 2012.

That’s not entirely true – I have been writing more, just not here.

I started a review blog, and it’s seen some marginal success. In the short time it’s been active, the page hits are up and I’ve already received a one product from a company to review. I consider that a success – and one I’m continuing to build on.

However, when it comes to disclosure in my personal blog, I’ve been absent.

The fact is, it hasn’t been the greatest of years. It also hasn’t been the worst of years, so I guess 2012 is a wash for me. Work has been the cause of most of my distress and sleepless nights – and at the risk of sounding trite, I am grateful to have a job – even if it is causing me sleepless nights.

I also realized this year something that hadn’t been readily apparent before: I was in an eleven year relationship with a complete and utter asshole. When we first stopped seeing each other, I would tell people he was a good guy, but we just weren’t a good fit. However, the farther I move away from the relationship, the clearer I see it – and him. There is no denying now that he was an asshole – and of course, then there’s some degree of embarrassment when I realize it took me eleven years to extricate myself from him.

I think his assholeness really came to light when I realized he moved out of state. He had already revealed himself as less than honest when I discovered that he allowed his wife to give away some of the boxes I left behind at his place (with his permission and promise that it would be safe in his shed and if he needed me to come get it, he would let me know). This is an old story I know – I contacted him several times to pick up my stuff, to no avail. Then one day I found a lot of my stuff at Goodwill – and he admitted she gave it all away.

So there was some concrete evidence he was indeed a lying bastard asshole, but one could argue that his wife did it without his knowledge. Okay… but then he moved out of state, and I saw things in a new light. Giving away my stuff was all part of the moving process – so instead of saying, “Hey Ex, we’re moving – come get your stuff,” they just gave it all away. Plus, there was furniture he specifically asked me if he could to keep temporarily – did I get a call to come get that as well? Nope. They either gave that away or sold it or moved it with them.

And I could probably go on – yet I won’t. Instead I’ll just say that the more distance I get from this relationship, the brighter the light that shines on the remnants is. I can’t help seeing it for what it really was – and I suppose in the beginning of the year, I dealt with some embarrassment regarding how much I put up with before giving up completely. I should have cut bait and run after the first two years – and I was very angry with myself for not doing so.

Enough of that – this year was the first year I had success in my garden. By the end of summer, my garden was beautiful – though still not a finished product. It did feel good to spend time out there, playing in the dirt, planting seeds and young plants and changing the landscape of the garden. I am already counting the days until spring comes in 2013 – I can’t wait to get out there again.

I hope to write more next year – to at least write two blog entries a week (I know! When I first started, I wrote every day!). I think writing is a good outlet for me – I really need to tap into that outlet more.

It was difficult, though, to put a lot of things down in print this year… I think I just didn’t want to see it there in black and white… because I really had hoped to forget and move on without leaving behind proof of yet another disappointing year gone by…

Monday, October 22, 2012

Monday, Monday

1) Good news! My cranky pants came off this morning! So now I'm running around pantsless - or am I?

2) I went on the Reno Wine Walk this weekend - my friends and I dressed up like witches. It's always a good time - and I lucked upon a good looking older gentleman who semi-flirted. Unfortunately for me, I lost track of him.

3) Homey's still got it.

4) Not sure what I've still got, though. It could just be a bad case of the "big head."

5) Snow, snow, snow and more snow. One of my co-workers got stuck in Truckee and can't get into work. Isn't it too early for snow?

6) I don't care what you say - it IS too early for snow.

7) Went for a walk along the Truckee yesterday. It's not the ocean, but it *is* relaxing.

8) Been loving baked sweet potatoes lately - nice and fall-like. Of course, I might have to switch to something else, seeing as it's winter and all.

9) Thank goodness I have my hot flashes to keep me warm.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

The Not-So-Endless Summer

Summer appears to be over. When did that happen?

Oh sure, we still have some rather nice temps during the day - but it's getting dark earlier and earlier at night. I grabbed a book and started to head towards the garden last night to read, only to be surprised by the darkness. What? Wasn't it only a week ago I could read outside until about 8 p.m.? Or does time really DO go that fast when you're

I will miss summer. Granted, I didn't do anything really exciting (unless you count painting my toenails red and blue and wowing my co-workers with them). I did, however, spend a lot of time in my garden... finally got some plants to grow and some are even thriving.

I cleaned away years of debris, and freshened up the look. After all that activity, I'm not quite sure I'll know what to do with myself now that summer is at an end and my time in the garden has shortened immensely.

Maybe it's time to dip my toes in the waters of Match dot com. That should keep me busy through winter...

Sunday, August 05, 2012

On My Mind

1) Today I felt fat, so I figured I should feed that feeling with a doughnut.

2) I had it with some coffee, and it was delicious. The doughnut - not the coffee. Although, the coffee wasn't bad.

3) I bought a hanger for my garden at Big Lots today. It was on clearance. I went to hang it in my garden, and could not find any picture hanger contraptions. I've got a million of 'em. Somewhere. Apparently not in plain sight, though.

4) I went to Cost Plus today for something in particular. They didn't have what I was looking for, so I wandered over to the wine section. In a matter of 15 minutes, three different salespeople asked me four different times if I needed help.

5) I know they were just doing their job, but it irritated the crap out of me. Not only did I have to answer the same question four times, but one lady asked me twice... WTF? Do I look confused? (Don't answer in the negative if you know what's good for you!)

6) I bought very small Crock Pot at the Assistance League yesterday. It was $6. So, I thought of the perfect thing to cook in it for Sunday dinner. I went to the store, and bought the cut of meat I needed and went home.

7) This morning, I found that cut of meat still in the bag. Somehow when I put stuff away yesterday, I missed it. Don't ask me how - I'm still confused on the details.

8) I had to make another trip to the store to get some meat. Homey didn't like people today (see #5), so it was quite challenging to have to go out amongst them again.

9) I had work done on my car on Friday - almost $2,000 worth. Sometimes I feel like I'll never get ahead.

10) I do need my car to get ahead, so I will trust it was money well spent.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Dead in the Water

I thought I had a live one. I really did. But it turns out he was dead before I was able to reel him in.

It's summer - the weather is warm, the birds are chirping and my vajayjay is singing, so I found myself reactivating my OKCupid profile recently to see who the new members were. OKCupid told me I'd have to stay active for a short period of time (I believe it's two weeks). I said, "Eh, why not?" and clicked okay.

Shortly after I reactivated, a guy in Carson City contacted me.

He was funny. Just a tad older than me, but not by much. He looked good for his age - and not "too good." I don't know about other women my age, but I don't want to go out with some guy who's over 50 and looks like a GQ model. I figure at this age, that's a lot of work dude is going through to look like that - and I sincerely do not wish to even try to keep up with that.

His first email was funny, so I wrote him back right away. We have been corresponding ever since - and tonight I finally sent him the "we're just not a match" email.

Why? Because of two things:

1) My Window of Opportunity Theory: I have a theory when it comes to online dating: if you seem to click with someone online, and they don't move to the next level within a 7-9 day period, you just simply aren't ever going to meet. (Whatever that level is: phone, real live meet, etc.)

That window of time is approximate, give or take a few days - but I think you get my drift - the more email that goes back and forth means the more time that goes by - and pretty soon the whole things goes from "Gee I've got a live one" to "Gee, does this guy ever venture outside of his apartment?"

2) He kept asking me all kinds of questions about things to see if I'd "pass" - the questions centered mostly on my politics. Even though I kept passing each test - it was just that: another test.

Look: I think of myself as a realist when it comes to relationships - I don't think there is a perfect one. I think there are good fits, though - and if some guy goes out with me and it turns out he voted for Obama, that's not a deal breaker for me. If he's funny, kind-hearted, generous, and gentlemanly, well... isn't that what really counts?

Anyway, when it came to this guy, the writing was on the wall: DNR. Not sure if I should stick around and hope someone else contacts me, or go back underwater.

Thursday, July 05, 2012


Yesterday, in honor of Independence Day, I painted my toes blue and red. Today, my co-worker called me over to his desk so he could show me a project he was working on.

I scooted my chair over, and he said, "Oh look at your patriotic toes! That's so cute." Then he said, "B, did you see PJammy's patriotic toes?"

B said, "No, C, I did not. I don't tend to look at PJammy's feet during the workday."

I said, "Oh, now that's disappointing."


Monday, June 11, 2012

Shhh... there's a life going on

Ack! My life has been awfully quiet lately.

I need some shakin' up. Or some belly shakin'. Or just a shake.

Speaking of, I haven't had a milk shake in years. Did you know my milkshake used to bring all the boys to my yard?

I digress...

Remember when I said there was a fix up on the horizon? Well, no one has called, and my date book is empty. What the frick happened to my horizon?

Watch out, Match dot com. I am coming for you... just as soon as I get my pension check.

I'm washing my sheets right now. That's the only action they've had in months.

Speaking of action, I worked out tonight. Then I had a glass of wine and bowl of potato chips. Won't Dr. Atkins be proud?

Okay, in one more minute I will be able to watch Emily look for love. I'll be back later to check on y'all. Smoochies!

Friday, June 01, 2012

Too Tired to Think Straight

One of my teammates is very appealing to me. Honestly though - since the first time I saw him  I was drawn to him, even before we ended up on the same team. He's got red hair, and I'm a sucker for red headed guys. Plus he exudes manliness. Not icky, need-a-shower, boy-am-I-in-need-of-a-woman manliness. Nope. Good old fashioned clean-in-a-manly-way, has-a-shitload-of-confidence kind of way.

I have one of those hopeless romantics as a friend who is hoping this will turn into a romance. I have no such delusions. There are sometimes people in my life I just plain old have a crush on - and nothing will ever come of it.

Yes. I said "people" because truth be told, I have had girl crushes in the past. Don't get me wrong - I never wanted to kiss said girl crush. But I did notice that my feelings for said girl were more crushy than platonic.

That said...

My teammate falls into the "gee I'm drawn to him but nothing will ever happen" category.


Sometimes I think he is asking me out without asking me out. And I don't mean on a date. I mean just to hang out.

Tonight was one of those nights.

We both worked late today, helping out another team who is behind on a few deadlines for part creation. I was creating parts, he was auditing.

Two different team members grabbed my last two requests to audit, so Ginger and I started talking. He told me how his roommate got a puppy, and ended the story with how - in escaping the manic puppiness - he ended up at "Baron's" He went on about the cheap beer, and open mic night, etc.

After my last request was complete, I closed up shop (meaning I put my pants on. Kidding. I closed down my computer). As I was grabbing my things, he said "You know where Baron's is, right? On 4th and Keystone?" I put my hand to my head and said, "Oh yeah, it's near Gold Dust West, right?" He said, "Kind of - very close, anyway."

I said, "Well, have a good time and a good weekend!" Then I left.

It was only when I was driving away that I realized his asking me if I knew where Baron's was located might have been a lame way to ask me to join him.

Ugh. I am so clueless sometimes. But then again, I might be thinking too hard about it.

That's the thing about being tired... knowing which end is up can be difficult to figure out!

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Pirate Poodle Lady

Picture this: a woman in her 60's, short cropped gray curly hair, an apple shape on top of skinny legs, a persistent smoker's hack, who uses her outside voice inside. All the time. And peppers it generously with aforementioned hacker's cough.

My teammate calls her "Pirate Poodle Lady" so I didn't know her name until today. When I found out her name, I sent the below to my teammate.

1) Pirate Poodle Lady’s real name is Kandi.

2) Kandi with a “K” and an “I” is a popular stripper’s name.

3) Pirate Poodle Lady is not a stripper.

4) Coughing is not allowed at Fantasy Girls.

5) Smoking is (or so I’ve heard).

I know he read it because I heard him giggling. And then he went to Fantasy Girls.

Or maybe he just went home. Maybe I'll find out tomorrow.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Good-Bye, Virgin

I've had a Virgin Mobile pay-as-you-go phone for about 10 years. They've always been pretty good about sending me an email to let me know I need to top-up, so imagine my surprise when I went to top up on Saturday, and discovered that I no longer had an account with them.

What? This can't be!

Apparently, though, it can be. And it was. It had been over 90 days since my last top up, so instead of notifying me like they always have in my ten year relationship with them, they canceled my phone number so I would have to upgrade to a higher cost account.

That, my friends, totally pissed this gal off.

Now I'm looking into other pay-as-you-go plans, and they really kind of stink. Virgin Mobile still might be the best deal out there - but they will not be rewarded for bad behavior - at least not with my money.

I think I'll be going with Tracfone. After spending the day researching what is available, it seems like Tracfone is the next best deal - and with two different packages, I can get double minutes for life. (I'm assuming that is the life of my phone - or perhaps the life of my account with them.) 

I don't use a cell phone except for emergencies - or for making that odd phone call from work. I basically paid Virgin Mobile $20 every 90 days just in case I needed to make an emergency phone call.

It seems kind of silly, but it did give me peace of mind knowing that I had the ability to make a call if I needed to.

For someone who doesn't use a cell phone, though, I have to admit I'm mesmerized by some of the choices available from Tracfone. They have some really nice options. I was going to get a plain old clam shell like I had - but for $5 more I can get a phone with a qwerty keyboard.

I don't text... but you know.... it might be nice to have the option!

See what I mean? I want to pay more for something I will probably never use - just like I rarely ever used my cell phone.

A girl does like to have options, though... which probably also explains all the shoes in my closet....

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

The Week That Was... And Still Is

I work in a department that is broken down into five channels. The channel I belong to does not consistently have work coming in. It's basically feast or famine, depending on when kit builds take place.

This week is FEAST - we're on the last part of a really intense kit build. But wait - that's not all - a "new" person had the bad timing of being assigned to our channel during the kit build.

Okay, first off - she's not "new" - she was in another department, until those jobs were moved overseas. Then for some odd reason, she was pawned off on us.

I don't understand the logic how - out of five teams - we were one of three that ended up with a T1 (which means, entry level, must be trained, etc, etc). We do not have enough work to keep the three of us busy as it is - now we have another person to try to keep busy.

I'm supposed to move my book of work over to her - a move which I'm very resentful of. This is my work - if it moves, what the hell will I be doing with my day? I know - I'm supposed to be working on the two major kit builds from now on - but again, those happen only four times a year - the other work, while sporadic, was at least consistent.

Then there's the little problem of her personality. I met her once, about a year ago. A guy I worked alongside of invited me to go to the morning "bwalk" - short for breakfast walk. A lot of the team members go to the cafe in the building next door. As a vendor, we get free drinks there, so we often just went to get our morning cup of Starbucks or stock up on sodas or "fancy fizzy water." Sometimes we splurge and get a breakfast - the food is all organic and eco-farmed - and inexpensive.

On this particular day, my new coworker was there, too. I was introduced to her, and as we were the only girls in the group that day, I struck up a convo with her. She answered my questions, she seemed friendly - but then, whenever I'd see her in the hallway and say "hi," she'd ignore me.

And now this is the girl I am supposed to be training. The word resentful doesn't quite cover the range of emotion I'm feeling right now.

Enter this week: probably the most intense week of milestones regarding the kit build. My cube-mate is gone - she is on vacation. So anything "Ess" submits to the queue, I have to audit and validate - as well as anything my other co-worker does. However, it isn't as simple as auditing and validating - nope, there is also training involved.

To her credit, she seems eager to work - but it is driving me FUCKING insane. Yes. I used the eff-word. I am in major overload here.

My experienced and newly promoted co-worker keeps saying, "Girl, you gotta give her some work! Train her!" I say, "Holy crap, dude, I have no time!" He says, "Just give it to her! She isn't doing anything! She has to work!" I say, "I was here three whole weeks before any of you gave me any work! Why should it be any different for Ess?"

And so it goes...

Today I flat out refused to validate or audit any of her work. I said, "I'm too busy and I cannot take the time out for training. So sorry you got dealt the short straw this week, Ess. The work requests are Normal Priority, so we can put them off for a day or two."

In talking with a friend who also works at the same company, I realized that part of my resistance, reluctance and resentment stems from the fact that for months she gave me what we call "stank face." In fact, my friend says she's not sure how I'm doing it - she isn't sure she could be cordial under the same circumstances.

But she could be - and I'm learning how to be as well. Yet at the same time, I will admit that I do not want to train her. I do not want her taking my book of work. And most of all, I do not want her on my team. At all. Admittedly I might not feel so strongly, had I not gotten so much attitude and rudeness from her before she was assigned to our team.

It's true - I was not happy to hear we'd be getting a T1 to train. I still don't know why she didn't go to another team, unless the others were more vocal about not needing someone. We weren't asked - however, we also don't have weekly meetings like the other teams do. So, I'm sure the other teams knew well ahead of time about the influx of these three homeless workers, and put in their bids for nay or yay - I wish we had the same opportunity.

My newly promoted co-worker told me that he would like me to take tomorrow off from the kit build and focus on Ess. I told him I'd rather do the kit build work. But... short straw, since my other co-worker is out. He's the most senior, and so I suppose I'll have to train her.

I'll be hating every minute of it. I wish I could call in sick tomorrow, but as we're a company with no sick time, no PTO, and a policy that says you have to have a doctor's excuse if you're sick - you can best believe I'll be there... even though I'd rather be almost anywhere else.

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Contest Entry

NHS (Nevada Humane Society) is holding a contest in support of their current "Less-Adoptable, But Still Lovable" promotion. Below is my entry - wish me good luck!

I love cats. I have cats. I know that makes me – a single woman of a “certain” age - a walking cliché. I was determined to break the cliché and get myself a dog for my birthday. This required many visits to the Nevada Humane Society – about two a week – to check out the dogs. So imagine my surprise when it was a cat that caught my eye.

His name was Buster, and he was one of the Virginia City rescues. I first saw him on Facebook: he was the only one of the bunch who didn’t look scared or cautious. Below his picture were no less than 15 posts all stating that he was a lovely boy, along with an expressed interest in adopting him. I was quite surprised to find him at NHS, as there had been so much online interest in him.

He communicated with me, so I spent time with him. He was bony, and had something wrong with his left eye. Despite his physical challenges, he was friendly and playful. But I was there to get a dog, so I left to check them out.

The next time I went to NHS, he was still there. What? So many people were interested in him. Why was he still there? Was it because of his eye? It actually looked worse. Was it his lack of teeth? I had no answers.

A week later, Buster was still there. He’d had eye surgery, and his eye area was shaved and he almost looked worse than when he had a growth over his eye. Still, he was glad to see me and pushed his paw out, beckoning me to come closer. I did. I talked to him a while, petted him, and then told him I was going to go visit with the dogs. However, when I left it wasn’t a dog on my mind – it was Buster.

Finally, I couldn’t fight it any more – Buster, gross eye and all, was going to be my next pet.

He required medication for his eye – and it was not easy to put on. I decided I could do it, filled out the paperwork. I was told he’d need a special diet and of course his eye would need to be looked after. However, at that point I could not be dissuaded – it was obvious he was going to be my “dog.”

His eye still doesn’t look right, and although he was supposed to be on a special diet of “pate,” he decided he likes dry food better, and gums it on down. I’m still not quite sure how he does it –it is kind of fascinating to watch.

Don’t tell the other cats I told you so, but he’s my favorite. He is the easiest cat to have around and he’s affectionate, in an easy, undemanding way. He greets me at the door, and he follows me around the house. You know, kind of like a dog, only without the bark.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Fat Fast - The End?

I did it. I really did it. I can't believe I did it - but I did. Three days of Fat Fast. I am so impressed with myself for sticking with it.

But... it was kind of all in vain. Why? Because the day after the Fat Fast ended, I got sick.

So, instead of going directly from Fat Fast to Induction to really kick that weight loss action into gear, I wasn't able to. My body simply could not look another protein in the eye.

I don't know about you, but when I'm sick my body does not want any protein. What it wants is oatmeal. And crackers. And split pea soup.

Luckily, I wasn't really hungry when I was sick - but when I was hungry, I had lots of carby goodness. It's been a week, and I'm just now getting my appetite back.

I did lose a pound - but I should have lost more. And I probably would have lost more, if I stayed away from the oats and grains and split pea soup.

Do I consider the Fat Fast a success? Yes and no. Yes, I did lose some weight - but is one pound really worth the sacrifice of a Fat Fast? My answer: probably not.

However, I can't really judge this Fat Fast fairly, as had I not gotten sick, this would be my first week back on Induction, and I may have lost more had I kept the momentum going.

I will wait a month to try this again. I think my body should recover completely from this cold or flu before I abuse it again. Because whether or not you agree, a Fat Fast is hard on the body - or maybe more on the psyche.

I read the blogs before I did it - people who've tried it claimed they were satisfied on the Fat Fast. Don't believe it - it's not satisfying. And at the end of the day I found myself counting the hours until I could eat again. I woke up hungry every single morning I was on it.

I will, however, try it one more time so I can do it correctly - without illness and cold medicine and carbs getting in the way. Should I happen to gain the weight back after that, I won't bother trying it again. After all, I'm not a spring chicken. Maybe I'll never be 127 and a size 8 again. Maybe I'm not supposed to be. So perhaps I just need to make peace with it and stop trying to get my body back to the way it used to be and embrace what it is now.

After all, it ain't that bad for an old lady!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Fat Fast

I've heard about the Fat Fast for years, and toyed with the idea of implementing it, but the strict caloric restrictions made it unappealing to me - that is, until I hit the world's longest weight loss stall.

I've been following the Atkins diet for years now with fairly consistent results. However, age and hormone depletion when added to a few major life stresses caused a bit of a weight gain.

I decided to ride that out until the new year - I mean, why ruin a perfectly fun holiday season with worries of weight gain, weight loss, counting carbs, etc.?

Come January 3rd, I went back on Induction. It's not a fun period, but I was prepared with the right foods and a "can do" mental attitude. It took me about a month, but the weight started finally falling off.

I lost about 8.5 pounds, and then I hit a stall. I wasn't worried - they normally don't last long.

And then this stall just wouldn't unstall. It kept going, and going, and going. There was no budge on the scale, no matter what I tried: carb cycling, back to induction, cutting out certain foods - nope. Didn't work. The scale stayed fairly steady.

It was time to entertain the Fat Fast.

I read up on it, and decided I couldn't do it. Yes, it was only for three days - but boy, what a long three days that could be. I nixed the idea... and the scale continued to mock me and my weight loss efforts.

Let's face it: no one likes a smart ass weight scale, so drastic moves had to be taken. Fat Fast it is. I bought the foods needed this weekend, and decided come Monday there would be no excuses. I would be on the Fat Fast for three days. I could do anything - well almost anything - for three days, right?

Maybe. We'll see. It's the beginning of Day 2, and I've had my first *cough* meal of the day: a 1/4th cup of macadamia nuts. Lots of calories and fat, no carbs.

Yesterday I went over my allotted caloric intake by probably 200 calories. Still, when I got on the scale today, I noticed the needle had moved a bit. I wouldn't say I lost a pound - but maybe a half a pound? (Is it time to get a digital scale?)

The mere fact that the needle moved more than it had in two months is enough for me to want to see this thing through. I can make it through today - let's see how I do tomorrow.

Keep tuned for progress...

Friday, March 16, 2012

The Friday Five

1) Our company recently introduced a mentoring program, and I signed up for it. Today is the official "meet and greet," where mentors will meet potential mentees (like me!).

2) I really hope someone picks me.

3) This process reminds me of grade school: Please like me. Please pick me. Please.

4) I'm surprised I haven't broken out in stress acne.

5) This meet and greet probably shouldn't be taking place while Mercury is in Retrograde; apparently, the powers that be don't consult the stars.

Thursday, March 08, 2012

It's Payday!

Ahhh, how I just love every other Thursday. Payday for me - and yes, I don't make much money, but I do feel liquid on payday. I always buy myself something as a reward for making it through another pay period.

Tonight I'll be going to Claim Jumper with a friend, and we'll be partaking of their $7 Happy Hour Widow Makers. I am counting the hours until we'll be chomping on our hard-earned money.

She gets off work an hour later than I do, so I'll be entertaining myself by running a few errands, and then walking aimlessly down the aisles of Cost Plus World Market. Ye gads, I love that place.

I can remember going to Cost Plus when I was a kid - way back when they sold chocolate covered ants and chocolate covered grasshoppers. It was such a treat to go - the closest one was in San Francisco, so it wasn't something we did that often. But when we went, my parents always made sure it was around allowance time, so we could buy ourselves something.

We almost always bought the same thing: Japanese Rice Candies. We loved that they came with toys, and that we could also eat the wrappers. But sometimes we bought other things, like Chinese Finger Traps. Way back when, Cost Plus really did have inexpensive items. Now, everything is overpriced. Still, it is fun to look.

I hope they still have those Irish Shortbread cookies. I know I shouldn't buy any... but if they have them, I won't be able to help myself. It's how I roll.

Monday, March 05, 2012

The Answer is Yes

As some of you know, I blog on LiveJournal. Unfortunately, due to online harassment from two different cyber stalkers, I had to lock the account down a few years ago. It's now "friends only" and I do still blog there as some of my friends are still there - communicating the not-so-old-fashioned way.

I posted an entry there today, and was prompted by LJ to check out some of their new features. I clicked on the link, and was brought to a modge podge of a page, with information such as who commented on my last blog to gifts for purchase to writing prompts to a poll.

Today's poll question: Have you ever made dinner for your parents? For me, the answer is yes - and then after thinking "yes," I started to cry.

I remember being in my first house, and the excitement that came with cooking them a meal there. I think my mom brought me flowers the first time, and I am sure I made something very simple, but my parents complimented my cooking as if they were eating a meal at a five star restaurant.

I loved having them over for dinner. My mom had a favorite meal that I cooked, so often I made that. She loved it, and it was something she wouldn't cook for herself. Even though I was in my 30's at the time, I felt like a real grown-up having my parents over for dinner in a house I owned and with food I bought and lovingly prepared.

While I still cook for my dad when he visits, it's not the same as when I was living in California, cooking for my parents in my very first home. I still remember feeling so pleased when I heard them drive up in my dad's truck, and smiling when they made the extra effort to use my "front" door. (For those of you who have never lived in a mobile home, visitors tend to go to the side door - which always bothered me, because the side entrance was where I kept the litter pan. I had decorated my front door area and wanted people to come in that way - where it was pretty!)

Even though it's been two years since she died, there are still times when I can't believe my mom is really gone. Thinking about those dinners brought that all up again.

So yes, I have cooked for my parents. And I encourage my friends who still have parents living to cook them a meal soon - because one day, you'll be glad you did when you still had the opportunity to do so.

Sunday, March 04, 2012

The Sunday Seven

1) Enjoyed a somewhat solitary day yesterday. Slept in.... until 9 a.m.! Did some light cleaning, ran a couple of errands, and made sure to be back by early afternoon - especially when I realized all the other people running errands were rude, loud, and not welcome in my Saturday.

2) Decided it was a shame to let the sun streaming through the windows go to waste, so instead of plopping myself in front of the computer, I picked up a book and read.

3) When the sun went down, I continued to read in the bathtub.

4) When I was tired of reading, I watched Hetty Wainthrop solve a couple of mysteries. It's so much fun seeing Dominic Monaghan in his *way* pre-Lost days.

5) Today I met a friend and we went for a walk along the Truckee.

6) We hit a cafe, had a fancy coffee drink (her), herbal tea (me), and two decadent desserts. Don't worry - we walked it all off on the way home.

7) Made a real dinner for myself tonight: beef brisket. I'm sorry to say it's not as good as the beef brisket I had at the cafe this week, but at least it was edible.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Sweets for the Sweet

It's so good to be right...

For decades, I've said over and over again, "I don't trust people who don't like sweets." I never found them to be very nice. And while "nice" and "trust" are two different things... mean people cannot be trusted. Right? Can I get an amen?

Anyway, several recent studies have proven that people who like sweets are more agreeable, nicer, and friendlier than those who shun them.

Singles, if you're out on a date and your potential beloved says "I don't like dessert," run out of the restaurant. You won't be sorry.

Friday Night Notes

Yes, I know this is Saturday, but these are my notes about last night. What happened last night? I went to a Meetup titled "Journal While Exploring Your Journey."

I love the woman who hosted. She is fast becoming more of a friend and less of an acquaintance as time goes on. She's bubbly, energetic, and very friendly.

She thought the New Year would be a good time to start journaling, and wondered if there were any others that might want to as well, hence the meetup. While quite a few signed up for it, only four of us (and the hostess) were actually there.

The hostess had taped an interview Oprah did with Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love. I have to admit - I didn't read the book. I did see the movie, and those of you who read a much earlier review of it that I wrote KNOW I hated it. The movie seemed so self important to me. Still, I had to admit that this was one woman who made journaling work for her.

So, after a bit of mingling, we sat down to watch the taped interview. However, before the hostess could hit "play," Miss Know It All decided to talk all about her experience with Eat, Pray, Love.

"I'm a writer" she started out by saying. I did everything I could to prevent myself from rolling my eyes. "I have had several email conversations with Elizabeth Gilbert." Well, good for you. Can I have your autograph, please? "The movie glossed over her transformation. She was depressed, had issues, was seeing a therapist, and had been on all kinds of meds."

Well. I'd like to say something sarcastic here - I really would. However, this was good information to know - even if it did come spilling out of Miss Know It All's mouth.

And it just went on and on. Every time the hostess went to hit "play," Miss Know It All just had to throw some more of her inside scoop in. Finally, she took a breather, and the hostess was able to hit the play button before Miss Know It All could vomit out more tedia. (Tedious trivia - my own word, which will soon be copyrighted, bitches.)

The interview was interesting. Yes, I still think Elizabeth Gilbert is a tad bit of a blowhard. That might be jealousy speaking, and I'll freely admit it. I mean, wouldn't I just love to be on some publisher's dime to find myself? Of course I would. Yet, I also admit that she had some interesting tidbits to share about journaling, asking yourself the hard questions, and finding the courage to change your course in life.

However, during every single frickin' commercial break, Miss Know It All had to pipe in and add commentary. It was getting to be VERY, VERY irritating.

At least to me.

After the interview, we talked about the interview, how it relates to journaling, and we also talked about meditation. Of course, when I say "we" I really mean Miss Know It All and the broad her brought her.

At some point, the woman next to me said, "Is this boring you - you haven't said really said much since the interview started." Um, maybe because every time I started to talk, Miss Know It All cut me off? And she did - every single frickin' time I started a sentence, she talked over me. However, as it would not have been polite to say so, I took a bite of my cookie (again telling: Miss Know It All wouldn't touch the cookies) and said, "I'm really just listening - I learned a lot."

I have to admit, I did get some great ideas and will start journaling again. I even bought something I can use as a journal at Target - and it was even on clearance ($2! - it was probably made in China, but if you won't tell, neither will I).

Am I glad I went? Yes. But I hope to God I never run into Miss Know It All again. If I do, I'll stick a cookie in her mouth so she can't talk.

Thursday, February 02, 2012

Glitter on the Highway

I've been thinking about my mom a lot these last couple of weeks. I suppose I think about her every day - but this is different. There have been lots of memory triggers around lately. For example, I will be at the store, and all of a sudden I see something and think, "Gosh, mom loved that!" Or I'll come across something at the house and remember that I bought it while out shopping with my mom. I've even seen duplicates of items she used to have as I scour the thrift stores.

As the veil between worlds is not currently thin, I don't "feel" her. The memories are definitely just memories - not the overwhelming sensory perceptions they are when the veil is thin. Still, I find it odd that she's popping up so much lately.

Normally on my way into work, I listen to talk radio. This morning, though, I channel hopped until I found a song I liked. And right after that song came another. Then, as I neared work, "Love Shack" came on.

I love that song - and started singing out loud. When I sang "I got me a car, it's as big as a whale and it's about to set sail," I remembered my mom.

Now, I don't think my mom knew who the B-52's were, nor do I believe she ever heard the song itself. However, she drove a huge 1968 Mercury Parklane and whenever I heard the song, I always thought of that car.

One day we were going to go somewhere, and my mom said, "Let's take the Merc" (we normally rode in my dad's truck). All of a sudden, I sang - outloud - "I got me a car, it's as big as a whale, and it's about to set sail! I got me a car, it seats about twenty, so come on and take your jukebox money!" My mom started to laugh.

After that, it became kind of a thing. On the rare occasions we would take the Merc somewhere, I'd start singing that part of the song, and my mom would always laugh.

She loved that car, and wouldn't let my dad get rid of it, even though she stopped driving a few years before she died. While I never knew exactly why she got such a kick out of those few lines from "Love Shack," I think she felt some sort of pride about her car when she heard me chop up the lyrics. It deepened the pride she had in her car - that much I could see in her eyes.

My dad still has the car. I know he contemplates selling it, but he has trouble letting go. He told me that mom would be so disappointed in him if he sold it.

For me, the car holds a lot of memories. We took many a vacation in that car, and I learned to drive in it as well. It was the car Bobby took his last ride in before he was put down at the vet's. It was also the car I hopped into when my mom saw me crying at a bus stop after I found out I couldn't become a Marine.

That car picked me up from the airport every time I came home on leave. And it drove me back to the airport so I could go on to my next adventure. We slept in the car when we went to cat shows "down South." We argued in the car. We laughed in the car.

More importantly, I believe it was my mom's first car. She didn't learn how to drive until I was young - in fact, I remember when she took her driving lessons. I think she may have learned how to drive in that car - but that part, I don't remember. I do remember that for most of my years at home, that was that car that took me places.

Now it sits in the garage. I think it probably misses my mom as much as I do.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

The Sunday Seven

1) I really REALLY want to open a bottle of wine. But I won't.

2) I also really REALLY want a Claim Jumper brownie. I've hit that stage of Atkins where the food cravings kick in. Must resist.

3) I talked to a friend yesterday and we made a pact: we're going to go out once a month (at least). Music. Drinks. Try new places. I'm excited - I was a hermit for the last half of 2011 - no more Hermie for me! (or is that Hermes?)

4) I'm also thinking of starting a singles group for people of a "certain age." I honestly don't have the energy to pull it together, though - but if I'm going to do it, I need to do it by February 1st - otherwise, Meetup's costs go up.

5) Two of my "witchy" friends think they're being helpful by constantly telling me that there is no one here in Reno for me. For some reason, that really bugs me. Maybe I'll just conjure somebody up - that'll show 'em.

6) Not sure what it will show 'em, really - perhaps it will just make me feel better.

7) You know what would really make me feel better? A Claim Jumper brownie and a glass of wine.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Exhausted of Incense

Demi Moore has been hospitalized due to "exhaustion." Who, besides the rich, are ever hospitalized for exhaustion? Fuck - I'm exhausted. You don't see me trotting off to a hospital saying, "Admit me, I'm fucking exhausted man!"

I think by now we've come to know that the term "hospitalized for exhaustion" is just another way of saying "overdose." Perhaps in the case of some size 0 models, it could really mean "she hasn't eaten anything in three months" - if so, shouldn't the model just be admitted to the local McDonald's for a couple of hamburgers and call it good?

I digress - let's get back to Demi Moore, shall we? What the fuck did she smoke that was "similar to incense" - a bag of potpourri? Or maybe a sachet from her underwear drawer? I think not.

Apparently due to "privacy issues," parts of the 911 call were redacted. I get it - but jeepers, let's not try to be fooled into thinking that Demi Moore, broken up over the demise of her marriage, decided to light up something that's almost as innocent as incense. Because that simply did not happen. She acted like a meth head let loose in a meth lab and grabbed everything near her that could get her high.

The real part of this story that pisses me off, though, is that Demi Moore is having a very public breakdown because she lost that fucking loser Ashton Kutcher. Seriously sister? You should be kickin' up your heels and celebrating. He was cheating on you for years. Plus, he's not even a good actor!

Here's a hard truth, sister: People lose all respect for women who self-medicate to get over someone. The fact that your self-medication became public is humiliating and embarrassing - not just for you, but for all women of a "certain age." You might be thinking we're in your corner, saying "Oh you poor thing. We understand."

Nah - we're sitting around the water cooler saying, "What a fucking bimbo! Did she really think Ashton was in it for the long haul, especially when he was flicking his dick every which way but loose?"

Look lady - you're rich. Don't spend your money on drugs; take yourself on a whirlwind vacay around the world. Or scurry off to a spa. Or buy yourself a boy toy. Just please, stay away from the drugs.

For heaven's sake, use a little common sense. People don't pity a self-medicating cry baby. Take a page from Jennifer Aniston's book: act with a little dignity, okay? Then maybe we'll feel sorry for you.

In the meantime, stay away from incense. Especially the Nag Champa. I hear it's a killer.

Friday, January 20, 2012

The Friday Five

I haven't done this in a while... shame on me.

1) I'm losing weight - and it feels good. I have on a pair of pants today that feel like I need to keep pulling them up.I've checked myself in the mirror several times- yes, my pants are still on.

2) I feel so good about myself that I may wear a dress tomorrow to the company holiday party.

3) Then again, it's as cold as an icicle out there, so maybe not.

4) Yes, we're having our holiday party tomorrow - normally I wouldn't go, but as I've been talked to about participating in company events, I'll be there. With bells on. Why? Because I want everyone to NOTICE that I'm there, so maybe I'll stop getting pulled into meetings and told "you know, it hurts me personally when you don't participate in company or team events."

5) The thing is, it sounds like there will be a lot of good food there. And I'm on a diet (see #1). And that makes me not wanna go - but I'll be there. With a muzzle on.

Go team!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Have some butter, y'all!

Ugh. If I hear the words "Paula Deen," "butter," and "diabetes" in the same sentence again, I am going to throw something at the next reporter I see. Honestly.

And while I know that ignorance can be bliss, it's not when it's a reporter being ignorant. Look here, media: butter does not cause diabetes. Neither does fats in foods.

Diabetes is a metabolism disorder, plain and simple. Paula Deen did not get diabetes because she uses butter in her recipes. She may have gotten it due to eating a lot of starchy and sugar-laden foods. The truth, as the Department of Health states, is "The cause of type 2 diabetes is largely unknown..."

So to all you reporters out there who think it's ironic that the thing Paula Deen loved so much in her food is the thing that caused her diabetes - you're so wrong it's almost laughable. I say "almost" because the truth is you're getting paid to put out that trash - and that's nothing to laugh about.

Readers, please add some butter to your food tonight. It won't hurt you - and you'll actually enjoy it.

Imagine that... eating food that actually tastes good. Here's to you, Paula Deen! I hope you figure out how to continue using butter in your new diabetic-friendly recipes!