Friday, October 30, 2009

He isn't who he says he is...

Before my mom died, I actually went out on two dates with the same guy. Go figure - me. Out. Not once, but twice.

The guy is someone I met via my favorite-and-not-so-favorite matchmaking site. He is a top blogger, and seemed kind of into me. And in all honesty, probably way more into me than I was into him.

On paper he seemed great. His blogs are funny and insightful. He seemed genuine. And nice. When we moved our email conversations to the phone, I still found him to be interesting. And genuine. But... not as funny as his blogs. And in fact, kind of not funny at all.

He had this annoying habit of asking me a question, and interrupting me before I could finish my response. He also admitted that his driver's license had been suspended because of two DUIs. But, I decided to overlook all that (he changed his lifestyle - he promised not to talk over me when we met) and meet him anyway.

Our first meeting was nice. I didn't think he was as good-looking as his photos, but he was nice. Well-dressed. Pleasant. I enjoyed our talk - or at least I enjoyed it when he didn't interrupt me or talk over me. I do admit I got a bit annoyed that he interrupted me so often.

I felt weird just leaving him there when I left. He waited for his dad to pick him up. I fluctuated between thinking I should have offered to take him home to thinking it was kind of sad that a 49-year-old guy had to wait for his dad to pick him up.

He told me he definitely wanted to see me again. And since it wasn't a bad date, other than the lack of sparks, I decided to give it another try. The next time we met was for dinner, a movie, and then drinks afterward. Drinks? Yeah...I know. But that was the plan.

He was all dressed up - a tie and a leather jacket. He looked good. But once again he interrupted me frequently - and I found myself getting irritated. I remember saying "Please let me finish, and then ask me your questions!" But...he just couldn't help himself. He would talk over me and ask me questions that had nothing to do with the original question I was answering in the first place. It was driving me bananas. Plus...he wasn't funny. Where was the guy that was so witty in his blogs?

Well, then my mom died and he sent me an email asking me to call him. I didn't feel like talking, so I didn't call. He emailed me again a few days later and asked me to call him. WTF? Was his dialing finger broke? It kind of ended after that, but it was probably dead long before that last email.

It's weird to read his blogs now. So many woman want him. And he wants so many of those women. And his blogs are so funny and insightful...but they aren't like him at all. Or are they? Was he just not like that with me? I dunno...

But I had to laugh when I read his latest blog written to a specific woman talking about his fantasy date. It would involve picking her up and going for a drive and making out in the car. Last I heard, he wouldn't have his license for another five months. I hope whoever she is doesn't mind making out in the car with dad in the driver's seat.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Two Weeks Ago Today

Two weeks ago today I arrived at the hospital a half an hour too late.

Two weeks ago today, I stood outside my mom's hospital door, waiting for the doctor.

Two weeks ago today, I listened as he told me what I already knew in my heart.

Two weeks ago today, I sat by my mom's lifeless body and cried.

Two weeks ago today, I waited for my dad to arrive.

Two weeks ago today was the first time I ever saw my dad break down and cry.

Two weeks ago today, my dad and I held on to each other for support.

Two weeks ago today I felt lost and confused.

Two weeks ago today I thought I'd never be happy again.

Two weeks ago today I finally understood why people get married and have children.

Two weeks ago today, I realized my mom understood why long, long ago.

Two weeks ago today, I made the hardest phone calls ever in my life.

Two weeks ago today, I thought I'd never get through the night.

Two weeks ago today, I was awaken by the sound of my dad's voice, and I realized he was talking to my mom and my heart broke for him.

Two weeks ago today, I knew how alone my mom felt at age 16 when she lost her own mom.

Two weeks ago today, my world completely changed and it will never be the same again.

I miss you, mom.