Tuesday, February 14, 2006

The first night of class, my instructor gave us a couple of homework assignments. The one I've put off the longest is answering the question "Why do you want to be a witch?" I finally finished my assignment today... just in time for tonight's class. Here's my answer:

Why I Want To Be A Witch

I've been thinking about the answer to the question "Why do you want to be a witch?" for almost a full month now, and I still don't have a clear answer.

Since I was a little girl, I've been interested in magical things. And not only was I interested, I believed. I believed in fairies and the magic of spells. I believed in things that go bump in the night and of serendipitous happenings. I believed in luck and magic powers. I believed in ghosts and psychic power. I believed in divination and an all-knowing God. Quite simply, I just believed.

Somewhere along the line, though, I lost almost all of my beliefs.

A few years ago, I began the journey to redefining my spiritual beliefs, which had become muddied and unrecognizable to me. During that time, my interest in magical things was reignited.

Serendipitously, I met a local Wiccan who told me about her Wicca classes. When enrollment time came, I signed up and counted the days until my first class.

Though I found the instructor likeable and the class interesting, I wasn't sure Wicca was for me. After all, it's basically yet another religion, with rules and regulations (although so much looser than those belonging to other religions). I found much of it complicated, and longed for the simplicity of Christianity (you know, real Christianity, not the Christianity borne out of churches with yet more rules and regulations). So, when classes were cancelled for a bit, I ended up never going back, as I just didn't "feel it" as the young kids say.

I found I missed going to classes... and learning about the Craft. Then I had one of those "Ah-HA" moments Oprah rambles n and on about: even though Wicca wasn't really my cup of tea, perhaps Witchcraft is.

I went back to some of the magical books I have on my shelves, and thumbed through them. As I looked, I asked myself "What is it about the messages in these books that attracts you to Witchcraft?" And I realized that much of it reflected and enhanced what I already believed. For example, candle magic is very much like a prayer in action. And the use of tarot cards just taps into the subconscious, bringing what's inside into the open. In other words. witchcraft, to me, is spirituality in action. It's using energy to bring about change, both inside and out.

Once again, serendipity intervened and I found out about another class that was probably more along the lines of what I needed (and in case you're wondering, that's YOUR class, Steve!). Even though I've only been in one class so far, I feel that this is a much better fit than my other class.

I still don't think I'll ever be what I call "a ritual witch." I don't believe in perfect love and perfect trust (not within humans, anyway), therefore would probably never participate in a ritual. And, the complexity of ritual in general is much too much like church for me to be completely comfortable with it. However, thank goodness, public ritual isn't what witchcraft is all about. No, it's about change and growth, and in the end, that's what not only attracts me to witchcraft, but what also makes me want to be a witch.

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