I don't know if it's something in the air or something up my butt, but I haven't been the nicest person to be living with lately. Just ask hunky.
We've been having little arguments since his sister left. And truth be told, we had a few while she was here. Those, though, were exacerbated by hunky's stress regarding his sister's visit. He was having trouble processing things I said, and often misconstrued what came out of my mouth. Then, I would overreact, forgetting that sometimes Asperger's gets in the way of his ability to process what I'm saying.
Since she left, though, the arguments have escalated and almost culminated in me leaving to spend the night elsewhere last night. At some point in our argument, I reiterated that I was leaving to for the gym. He snapped back with "I don't care when you leave. In fact, I don't care if you come home at all."
My thoughts? "Fine. If he doesn't care, then I won't."
Of course, finding a place to stay was a bit of a challenge, but I found one. I was going to leave without saying anything, but I couldn't be that cruel. Hunky has some abandonment issues, and it just wouldn't have been right to leave without a word of warning. So, being the kind girlfriend that I am, I warned him.
More arguing ensued. However, we got through it, was able to make up, and I went off to the gym to work off some stress.
While driving to the gym, I thought of a few things hunky said to me. He said leaving last night wasn't the right response, unless I really just needed to get away. And if I needed a few days away, he would take care of the cats for me while I was gone. He asked me to think about what I need.
And he might be right. I might just need some time alone.
I know it's hard for him to understand sometimes. But, now that he's working from home, he's been home every day since mid-November. When he was barely home during the 7 months he was working in the Bay Area, I got used to being able to do my own thing. Of being on my own timetable. Of not having to cook full meals. Of eating when I wanted. Where I wanted. Of sleeping without a lot of noise.
And while I'm glad he's home, I have to admit: I miss the freedom of just doing what I want, when I want.
So hunky is probably right. I might just need some time alone. If so, this would be the perfect weekend to go visit my parents. I could spend some time in a hotel room, and maybe even have time to visit the "holistic" expo in San Jose.
I'm feeling a bit of holistic healing just thinking about it.