Wednesday, April 01, 2009

The Way To A Man's Heart

I confess: I've been dating someone fairly regularly. You, gentle readers, know him as Mr. Wonderful. And, if he keeps doing that thing he does, I will probably call him Mr. Wonderful as well.

As I may have mentioned, he is a merchant sailor and gone for long stretches of time. For this reason, he has stressed that he didn't want this to be "serious," so technically we are only casually dating. (Doing more "stresses" him out.)

Basically, we just keep each other company. Dinner, movies, and small talk (although I have been known to receive some other fringe benefits as well). On our second date, he took me to Harrah's Steak House. We were enjoying a nice dinner, and he was telling me a story about what happened to his luggage on the way to an assignment. This was before 9/11, and his luggage had been broken into, and his uniforms, most of his clothes, and electronics were stolen. He said he was able to recover most of it through a claim, except for his "porn." He confessed that when going to sea for long periods of time, he likes to bring a stack with him.

Fast forward to two months later - he told me last week that he was called out for assignment. This assignment isn't as long as many of his - 10 weeks vs. the usual 4-month stint. Last night was our "last date" before he leaves. He has been so nice and kind to me, so I wanted to give him something to remember me by (get your mind out of the gutter!). What could I get him that a) wouldn't make him feel I was serious about him but b) would let him know I was thinking of him?

The answer, of course: Porn.

So before our date last night, I went to the adult superstore and stood before the magazine rack in awe. What to get him? Ethnic? Leather? Couples? Barely legal? We hadn't discussed what he likes. Thankfully, the store thoughtfully had "super bargain" packages with a nice assortment inside. I picked out one that I thought covered some of the most basic fantasies, and checked out.

The guy at the counter was nice, but all of a sudden it dawned on me that he probably thought I was a lesbian. Hmmm... well, that's not so different from most of the guys here in Reno, actually. But I digress...

I met him for dinner. We had a nice time, talked, caught up, and before we parted ways I gave him his gift. He was, well, overcome with gratitude. He couldn't believe that I remembered. (Seriously, what girl doesn't remember a guy confessing his love of porn?) He said it was a first, and he was going to take good care of it. (or was it going to take good care of him? I can't remember...)

So, this might not be a match made in heaven, and we may not ever progress past the dinner and movie stage, but I know one thing: I am the first girl to ever give him porn, and he will never ever forget that!

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