Thursday, April 23, 2009

Underwire Support System

When I first moved to Sparks from California to live with Todd, I found out that a co-worker from my California days lived on the same street. I thought "hey! A built-in friend." Not so much. I mean, she was and is a nice girl, but any time I got together with her, I was exhausted afterward. She talked. And talked. And talked. And, I never got a word in. Plus, she would tell the same stories over and over again about injustices at our old place of business. In my head, I would say "move on already!" In person, I would nod and smile, because like I said before, I couldn't get a word in edgewise.

So, our friendship fizzled, leaving me kind of alone. I mean, sure I had Todd, but that was it.

Todd kept after me to make friends. And believe me, I tried. But, as this area is kind of transient in nature, it seemed as if every time I made a friend, that friend would move away shortly afterward.

And then, well, I don't know how it happened, really, but I ended up with a bunch of friends here. And more friends than I had had in a long time. This support system was in place when I made the decision to leave Todd and move on.

The timing couldn't have been better.

At the time I made that decision, my life came crashing down around me. I got laid off. My mom's health took a turn for the worse. And of course, even though I was the one that made the decision to end our relationship, the decision had really been Todd's in the first place - he just couldn't or wouldn't let go. I had to sever the ties that kept us bound to one another, and that was probably the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.

And even though this time in my life is probably my darkest hour, I am surrounded by friends. These people constantly surprise me with their generosity and love. For example, I was going to have to quit my Thursday night class, because it is money that I shouldn't be spending right now. But, my classmates didn't want me to leave, so they take turns paying my way, week after week. My ex-co-workers invite me out for lunch and insist on paying my way. And just when I think I can't stand another moment alone, someone calls and invites me to a movie or out for a walk or over for belly dancing.

It may have taken me years to find some friends here in Reno, but the time put in was well worth it. I couldn't ask for better friends - and for those of you who are reading this, I thank you. You've been a lifesaver in ways you couldn't even imagine.

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