Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Talk Talk

After work yesterday, I met Todd at the house and we had a talk. Even though nothing got solved, I left feeling as if we had made some progress... even if that progress was just identifying items that need to be discussed with the counselor.

Yes, counselor. We have an appointment for this afternoon. We're meeting with a counselor who has "John Gray credentials." It's difficult to pick someone out of a phone book, but as we were looking at all the various ads, I was drawn to this guy... so we'll see.

Instead of leaving after our talk, Todd and I spent most of the evening together, and it was actually a nice evening. I had envisioned that I would leave after our talk, figuring it would take an emotional toll. And while there was some emotional tugs here and there, the talk was gentle yet truthful.

I know this will be hard to believe, but I am not the best of girlfriends. Shhhhhhhhhh... it's true. Now, maybe Todd isn't the best of boyfriends, either, but for now, I'm focusing on me. While at times I think some of his complaints are unwarrented, some are not. There is truth to a lot of his frustrations. Maybe not complete truth, after all, his frustrations come through his own filter - his own expectations and life experiences. But that doesn't discount that there is some truth there, and probably room for improvement on my part.

Before I went to the house, I felt our relationship was doomed to end. I saw no hope. But, after our talk, the scheduling of the appointment, and some quiet time together, I feel quite differently. I do think there's hope that we can salvage our relationship.

Or at least part as friends.

1 comment:

Julie said...

Ah, my friend, if I had one wish for you right now it would be for surrender. I know, I hate it too, but surrendering to what is right at this moment.

You will be in my thoughts. The good ones :)