Todd & I have been to two counseling sessions, with another one scheduled for tomorrow. While I believe that counseling has some benefits, ultimately, it hasn't changed anything.
I had a particularly anxiety-ridden "date" with Todd on Saturday. We got together early in the day. He decided to take the dogs to daycare, so we wouldn't have to worry about the dogs being crated too long. We left the house, took the dogs to daycare, then went to PetSmart to pick up some diapers for Benny. (Uh, yeah. That's another story altogether!)
After, we went to lunch at Austin's. We hadn't been there in ages, and the place was pleasantly quiet. However, Todd was anxious, and went over all the reasons he didn't think counseling was working.
I don't know what to say when he says this. The problem as he sees it: the counselor doesn't "get" him. And, in fairness, I can see why Todd would think that. The counselor knows about Asperger's, but dealing with it isn't at all one of his specialties.
I asked if we should see another counselor, but Todd never really answered. He went on about how he wasn't sure another counselor would understand him any better, etc., etc. But, in that monologue, he went off on how we have a different outlook on the relationship, and how he doesn't think that can be fixed through counseling, blah, blah, blah. This isn't new to me; I just don't know what to say when he goes off in that direction.
He believes our differences in opinion about what a relationship is, what purpose it serves, is the fundamental basis to our problems. I see his point, and I don't disagree. However, I do think that the counselor can help us to sort this out; to see if there is any common ground we're missing.
After lunch, Todd suggested coffee at Starbucks. By the time he suggested it, we had already passed it. So, I suggested we go to Barnes and Noble, where they serve Starbuck's in their cafe.
The place was noisy and chaotic. We got our coffee and sat down. Todd picked up where he left off at the restaurant, going over why he doesn't think counseling will work, etc. Basically what he was saying without saying it is that he thinks it would be best if we broke up.
So, there I was smack-dab in the middle of the B&N Cafe, about to cry. I could feel my eyes well up, and my face turn red. I'm sure I looked pretty.
After coffee, Todd didn't have much of a desire to do anything else. But, when he looked at his watch, he realized that the dogs were only at daycare for 2 hours; if he picked them up then, he would've paid for a whole day of daycare times three for nothing. So, we decided to go elsewhere.
Where to go?
Neither one of us is mallrats, but since it was across the street, we decided that perhaps a trip to Brookstone for him and a trip to Sephora for me would cheer us up a bit. So, we went there.
The mall parking lot was full, as it tends to be on a Saturday afternoon. But, despite all the earlier drama, Todd's parking luck was still in high gear. As we rounded a row close to one of the many mall entrances, a car started to back out. And before you could say "Spank me," we were parked about a 100 feet in front of the entrance.
In my three years in Reno, this was probably my 5th trip to the mall. We held hands while we walked around, and things just seemed to get better. Of course, Todd's countenance always becomes more positive when he's around the Brookstone and Sharper Image gadgets.
We left in time to pick up the dogs before daycare closed, and when we got back to the house, Todd suggested that we have some tea together before he kicked me out of the house. So, I put the kettle on, and soon we settled on the couch and had our tea. However, true to his word, once the tea was gone, it was time for me to leave.
We made plans to meet on Sunday, and I went on my merry way... and yes, Sunday will probably be an entry all of its own.