Lucky 13

Here are thirteen random things you were dying to know about me:

1) When I was a kid, I used to sleep with the blanket tucked securely around my neck. This was to protect my neck from being bitten by a vampire. Well, I think I kind of knew that a vampire could probably still bite me, but I was hoping that by moving the blanket away, it would alert me to the fact that there was a vampire in the room and give me time to run. (Of course, everyone knows you can't escape a vampire, but who can blame me for having hope?)

2) I hate grocery shopping, and try to shop by the ten-items-or-less method so that I can leave the store quickly. Problem: By only purchasing ten items at a time, I think I have to actually go to the store more often...

3) I love washing dishes. I find it soothing.

4) I hate cell phones...more than the cell phones themselves, I hate how people use them as an excuse to be rude. I resent how people assume I should be using one so they can contact me any time of the day, no matter where I am. Furthermore, I don't understand why one would go through the trouble to make a date, only to romance the cell phone instead.

5) My cat Schmutzy thinks he's my boyfriend. He holds my hand and strokes my face. And just like a real boyfriend, he yells at me if there is no food in the house.

6) I am addicted to tarot cards, and have about 75 decks (and only use about four decks regularly).

7) I'm a published author, but these days I am hard pressed to even write a blog entry.

8) My porn name is Smokey Sawleaf. No wonder I never made it big in the porn world. I should have tried "Smokey Stacked" if I expected to make any money...

9) I was once president of the Peter Pan Fan Club.

10) While shopping at the Paris flea market, a guy kept sneaking up behind me to pinch my butt. As I didn't speak French, I had to figure out another way to stop him. I waited until he got ahead of me and I quite literally kicked him in the ass. He turned around but didn't say anything, and I looked like a Crazy American for kicking someone in public. Still...it did feel good.

11) I hate that I'm a walking cliche, but I absolutely love to receive flowers from guys.

12) One of my pet peeves is that the garbage cans in movies and TV shows are still made of tin, therefore make a huge sound when they get knocked over (as they always seem to do in movies and TV). Garbage cans haven't been made out of tin in years - hasn't Hollywood noticed that?

13) I've been in 9 relationships, fallen in love four times, and have only had one sexual partner.