Friday, March 27, 2009

Fair Play

Last week, I was supposed to pick up more stuff from Todd's house. He said, "I am busy for the first half of the week, but I'll call you mid-week to make plans." Did he call me? No. So, this week, I followed up through email.

I simply asked him to give me days and times that I could come over. Did he do that? No. He made it more complicated - he called me when I was out and left a message that he wanted to discuss what would work for the both of us. Didn't I already make it clear that all he needed to do was set a time and date? So, I called him back. And even though he was home, he ignored my call.

After several ignored email messages, He finally left me a phone message that stated Friday would work, but he wanted to hammer out a time with me "later." Dude, just give me a time. I'll be there. By this morning, I hadn't heard back, so I emailed him. My email wasn't rude, but I did write this: "Perhaps I haven't said it clearly: it is important to me to sever ties completely. I am unable to do that until I am out of your house. It seems that the very least you can do for me is to honor this and schedule time for me."

So, he called me and the very first thing he said was this: "Your comment in your email was not fair to me at all." Huh? Fair? Let's talk about fair:

1) Was it fair for him to tell me he'd schedule time with me, and let me hang waiting for him to call, only to find he had blown me off? No.

2) Was it fair for him to lead me on for ten years, when really all he wanted was not to be alone? No.

3) Was it fair of him to tell me how he wanted me to have my own friends, and then get mad at me when I did, because I started actually spending time with them? No.

4) Was it fair for him to block me out of his life by not introducing me to his friends, including me in his clubs, etc, while demanding that I incorporate him into mine? No.

5) Was it fair of him to date me after we broke up, leading me to believe we were "working" on our relationship, while instead he was already telling Kim that he loved her? No.

He has no concept whatsoever of what's fair - through the years, I have been more than fair with him. And even in our break-up, I have been fair. And courteous. I told him he has no right to accuse me of not being fair, and I better not ever hear those words coming out of his mouth again in regards to me.

And should he ever deign to say those words to me again, I think it would be quite fair of me to kick his ass with my black leather boots on.

No comments: