So, today's scolding by the Big Men on Campus wasn't the only thing sour in my world: had a huge fight with hunky yesterday and had a swap go pretty dang badly last week. Needless to say, it's just not sunny in Pammy's world right now.
The fight with hunky was ugly. It started out with something stupid; he interrupted me when I was watching a television show, and I snapped at him. Instead of letting it go (even though I admitted I was snappy), he ended up calling me an asswipe, which is probably the meanest thing he's ever said to me before. It really hurt my feelings, and I didn't talk to him for most of the day. I told him get out of my face; that I didn't want to see him again, and so he stayed out of my way.
The swap gone bad: joined a "gothic" swap group. The person's whose name I got didn't bother to fill out the survey (the theme was Gothic Romanticism). I didn't even realize the person was a guy until the swap almost went out ("friends only" journal, gender unspecific journal name, no real name given), and I found that out by accident. I sent a brand new DVD, Practical Magic, the book Sabine & Griffin: Griffin & Sabine: An Extraordinary Correspondence, some purple nail polish and toe separators (so he could paint his wife's toe nails purple), and candles.
When he received the package, he posted to the group that my package WASN'T at all goth, and that the one thing he'd say was goth (the movie) he already had. Didn't thank me, either, but after a slamming post like that, I guess I didn't expect him to.
When I read the post to the community, my face actually turned red with embarrassment. At first I apologized, but then I realized "Hey, you big fucking moron, you didn't even fill out the damn survey," and then I adjusted my reply to cover that (well, I was nice enough to leave out the "fucking moron" comment).
The book? Definitely goth. Maybe not "I'm a vampire" goth, but definitely not the average fluffy love story, either. And the candles, well, candles are always goth, but maybe only black ones?
Who knows...anyway, then the moderator (who turns out to be his wife) chastised me also. I wanted to withdraw from the community right then and there, except that I wanted to participate in the next swap (Fairytales gone bad). So... I don't know. I guess I'll give it one more try, but all this has me feeling like I'm a big fat loser in the game of life.
In fact, I think I need a good cry. Good thing it's quitting time...