Old Friends

When I was in high school, I didn't have many friends. However, I did have a few, and Kathy R. was one of them.

I don't remember us hanging out after school or that sort of thing, but I know we had a few classes together and talked about the boys things we were interested in. I thought of her as way cooler than I was (she like Pat Travers, and wore funky clothes), yet somehow, despite her cache of cool, we still got along.

I've thought of Kathy on and off through the years, but being as my bad memory and lack of a school year book prevented me from remembering her last name, I didn't do anything about it (you know, like try to track her down). So, imagine my surprise when I received a Classmates.com email from her last week.

It was fun to hear from her. But then I went and stuck my keypad in my ass, and I haven't heard from her again. What was my crime? My lame sense of humor.

You see, even though I've been on the Internet for well over a decade now, I sometimes forget that my sense of humor does not translate easily over the wires. So, when she told me about her three marriages, two kids, and a relationship that ended with a kid but not in a marriage, I wrote her back about the fact that my first real long-term relationship didn't even happen until 8 years ago.

Yeah, that doesn't sound so bad, now does it?

Well, except it might be the way I wrote it... It went a little something like this:
Wow! You've had a lot of serious relationships! I don't mean that in a judgmental way; I guess I was just a late bloomer! I went into the Army right after high school (I graduated six months early, and went in right after that; not sure if you knew). Anyway, I didn't really date much. Oh, I had lots of first dates, etc, after I got to my first permanent party assignment, but most guys just wanted to nail the new girl, and I knew that, so I kept my legs crossed and that sort of hampered my love life.


So, in my joking attempt to explain my lack of social connectiveness with the male species, I instead made it sound as if she opened up her legs on every date she went on.

Nice, Pamela. Really nice.

It's been over a week since I sent that email, and I don't expect a reply now. Hopefully I won't piss off the next person that contacts me from Classmates.com...especially since there are probably only two people left that would contact me, anyway.

That's what I get for keeping my legs crossed during high school, I guess.