Thursday, June 15, 2006

The Art of Sensuality

A while back, hunky bought some satin sheets off Amazon because he thought they would be "sexy" and "sensual." However, around the same time, he also bought some other types of luxurious sheets, so we've mostly been using those on the bed.

Feeling in touch with my libido last night, I decided to put the satin sheets on the bed. The fitted sheet went on without a hitch. In fact, it stretched nicely, and fit tightly, just as something sensual should.

Then I put the flat sheet on. Or at least I tried. The flat sheet kept sliding off the bed. I thought, "Gee, these sheets really are slippery," and then I realized what the problem was: risers. See, both hunky and I have reflux, however my case has reached dangerous-to-my-health proportions. So, we took the doctor's advice and raised the head of our bed by 6 inches. This means we sleep at an angle, normally not a problem, unless satin sheets are involved.

Because I'm tenacious (but not Tenacious D), I kept at it. I finally got the satin top sheet to stay somewhat in place. That is, until I put the comforter on. Then both pieces started to slide off the bed.

I did a little maneuvering, a little tucking, and finally it all fell into place.

For about ten minutes.

When we went to bed, we didn't even think about getting romantic because we were spending all our time trying to stay on the bed. It was difficult, though, and we kept losing the battle...sliding down the satin sheets to the foot of the bed. I woke up several times during the night to find I was falling off the bed. And in an effort to stay put, Benny crawled underneath the sheets and hung on for dear life.

This morning, we decided the sensuous and sexy sheets will be taken off tonight, and the jersey sheets put back on. They may not be as sexy, but at least we'll get some sleep.

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