Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Cancer Schmancer

Did you know that getting cancer is no big deal?

Well it's not, according to Washoe Medical Center. Every morning on the local channel, they air their breezy, whistle theme music ad that depicts a local doctor bragging about how good it feels every time he "gets all the cancer out." A "patient" then chimes in and says of course she was scared, but Washoe Medical Center made it all so easy... and infers that it might have even been fun to have the doctor cream the cancer right out of her.

Washoe Medical Center's ad touts their mad cancer-busting, kick ass medical skillz in such a way that indicates cancer is no big deal. "Why worry? Cancer won't hurt you while we're around. We can knock the those cancer cells right out of you!"

What if the cancer comes back? "Oh believe us, it wouldn't dare while we're around!"

Yeah, I'm so much less afraid of getting cancer now that I know the super heroes at Washoe Medical Center can annihilate it. What I'm wondering is, if the cancer pros at Washoe Medical Center can do it, why aren't more medical doctors getting rid of cancer these days? Why are researchers even bothering to find a cure? I mean, all anyone has to do is get their cancer-infested ass over to Washoe Medical Center and those docs will cure them, toot sweet.

It's a good thing I live in Washoe County, home of the cancer killers. I feel sorry for all the other suckers in the country who don't.

Maybe they all should move.

No comments: