Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Rain Check

Les has been gone for a week. A whole frickin' week. Seven long days. Okay, maybe not so long. I mean, let's face it, I'm not your average stay-at-home kind of gal. I do have a life. But that life seemed more colorful and vibrant whenever I spent time with Les. And I didn't get to do that for a whole week, because he was traveling around the country receiving training on various aspects of his new business.

We talked on Sunday night and made plans for Tuesday. We were going to go to Wild River Grille for some salmon/crab cakes and beer. And then we were gonna, well, catch up. Close and personal like.

We talked again last night. He couldn't wait to see me. He would pick me up at five p.m., and asked me to please send my address one more time.

We sent several emails after our phone call and I found myself giddy with anticipation.

This morning, I got up at 4 a.m. Had some coffee, and then proceeded to vacuum and put stray items away. I freshened up the bedroom, made the bed, and put candles in strategic places.

I burned incense.

I Febreezed the couch.

I used Zero Odor on Purrscilla's nasty spots.

I found myself being a little apprehensive. It has been absolutely AGES since I had a guy over - I mean really "over." I had two different guys over for dinner, but pretty much only dinner. Allowing someone into my "space" is a very personal thing. I don't even invite too many friends over - I have to really trust someone before I let them through the front door.

Well, that, and I have germ issues, so I need to make sure they aren't the type of person to think less of me for making them kick off their shoes in the hallway before coming into the house.

Before leaving for work, I took time to make sure I was well-groomed and clean. I wore a dress to work - unnecessary as work attire, as I work in a business casual atmosphere. Still, I wanted to take no chances, just in case I got off work later than expected. I wanted to be dressed and ready to go come five p.m.

Around 10 a.m., I received an email from Les. I eagerly opened it up, scanned it, and saw something that made my heart stop: "I need to take a rain check on tonight." What? I read it again. Yep. Rain check. I quickly read the rest of the email... "because I was away..." blah, blah, blah, "...financial difficulties..." blah, blah, blah..."money's tight for the next week or two..." blah, blah, blah, "...I will talk to you later."

I was pissed and disappointed at the same time.

Now before you go judging me, let me first state that I've never been "that" woman. You know 'that" woman - the one who won't go out with a guy unless he spends a ton of money on her. Most of my life, money has been tight for me, so I totally understand budgets and restraint in spending, etc.

I know that being with Mr. Kim spoiled me a bit. He had an interesting relationship with money. He viewed it as a renewable resource, and with him, it kind of was. I don't know how he would do it. He could be worried about making bills, and next thing we knew, he would be offered a $100-an-hour contract, with expenses. Problem temporarily solved, and the cycle would repeat over and over again.

He loved extravagant meals out. He often bought me little gifts and flowers. We enjoyed good wine and "top shelf" condiments and groceries. Yes, I got a little spoiled - and then I was laid off and broke up with him all around the same time, and I was back to where I had been for years: budgeting money, buying groceries at Winco and clothes at Goodwill. So, believe me when I say I understand budgets. Streamlining. Cutting back. I honestly do.

What I don't understand is not having an alternate plan. "PJammy, I can't afford to take you to Wild River Grille tonight, but how about we meet for a walk around the Marina?" Or perhaps dinner at his place. Or "I'll bring a bottle of Ménage if you cook dinner." Nothing like that. Just a blanket offer of a rain check.

We haven't seen each other for a week. Sure, we've talked almost daily and sent countless emails - but jeepers, what about actually GETTING TOGETHER as planned?

So yes, I'm pissed.

My co-worker said I'm acting as if I'm already his girlfriend. Maybe I am, and perhaps I have no right to do that. Yet, another part of me says it's just good manners to come up with an alternate, low cost, plan.

It is possible.

If he wanted to.

Which makes me wonder if he really wanted to get together in the first place...

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