Date Three.Point.Five

Date Number Three.Point.Five: Mr. Happy

Mr. Happy won me over right away. His very first email to me went a little something like this: "I no if I got a date with u It will certinally be a step up for me. If you want to make a old country boy's heart piter and pater rae;l fast then tell me you would let me take you on a date." (sic)

Now, if any of you have come across my profile, you would know that I ask for - wait plead for, someone who can spell. So, all those spelling errors left me wincing, yet I still had a smile on my face. Why? Because this guy's pic that accompanied his profile shows him smiling - a big, wide open smile. That face along with the tone of the email is what grabbed me.

I wrote him back, he wrote me back and thus a flurry of emails passed between us in a matter of days. None of them long - but all of them funny and cute and self-deprecating (his, not mine).

I teased him about the distance between us and how he would only be able to dream about dating me, as he lives in Winnemucca, which I estimated to be five hours, twenty-two minutes and thirty-three seconds away. He told me it was only two hours and fifteen minutes, and that he comes to Reno often.

He told me he would be down here on July 4th and asked if I already had plans. I said I only had tentative plans to see the fireworks in Sparks - but that I was open to meeting if he would be in town. So, he said the 4th it was, and would I want to watch the fireworks with him? I said yes.

We had a plan - or so I thought.

He emailed me on Friday while I was at work, so I didn't see it until I returned home. He said that he was just about to get on the road, and that he wouldn't have access to a computer so he wanted to be sure I was still willing to meet him on the 4th at 7 p.m. Well, I was, but we hadn't nailed down a meeting place. As if reading my thoughts, the next sentence in his email stated that he would call me with a meeting place.

Okay then!

Friday night came - no call. Saturday morning - no call. I went out on Saturday, and spent most of the day away. I came home - no call. I went out again that evening and returned in the wee hours of the morning. No message. Hmmmm.... I was beginning to think this wasn't going to happen.

Sunday morning I rolled out of bed, made some coffee, and checked email. I knew he said he wouldn't have access, but he added that he would try to hunt down a computer. But alas, there was no message. By noon, he hadn't called. By three p.m. he hadn't called, so I finally left the house. I ran some errands, bought some plants, and got home around five-something.

Oh look - there was a message. I wasn't keen on the message coming so late in the day, and it appeared he called closer to five then three (the time I left the house). I pressed play and listened...

He said that he was at West 2nd Street getting drunk. Where was I? Wasn't I still meeting him at 7 p.m.? He added that he thought I could meet him at West 2nd, and then we could go to Sparks. In my head I was thinking, not if you're getting drunk I'm not!

Navigating downtown traffic on a busy holiday like the 4th was not appealing. What to do?

I decided to do nothing. After all, he couldn't have been that into me if he waited until the last minute to call - and especially if he called me from a bar.

It didn't feel right, so I went outside to my yard and planted the plants I had just picked up from Lowe's.

When I got inside, I checked email. Oh guess what? There was an email from him. I wasn't sure if he sent it from his phone or what - but there it was. "I thought we were meeting. :("

I felt kind of bad, but I also didn't. It was a mixture of feeling disappointed not to be going out and not meeting him, to feeling indignant about his lack of early communication.

I decided to email him back, but waited until I knew the fireworks were over.

I wanted to keep it light... after all, it could have been just bad judgment on his part. Or maybe the week got away from him. Still, there was Saturday. And for all I knew, he had spent Saturday with someone else - hence his not contacting me on that day.

"Dude, you mustn't have dated in quite a while. You seem to have forgotten the finer points of dating etiquette, one of which is calling in advance to set a time and place - not at the last minute. After all, a girl does need time to look her best."

He wrote me back the next day, saying that if he says he'll do something (like call), he'll do it. He added that I seemed to think he was like "all the rest." He said it was hard for him to get up the courage to ask someone out, and he didn't elaborate, but I take it I sort of dashed his courage. He ended by saying if I had really wanted to make it happen, I would have, so good luck in the big old world of dating.

I have to admit, I was a bit disheartened after reading his email. Oh yes, folks, I realized that he took none of the blame for our missed connection - still, I could tell from the tone of the email that he was disappointed and hurt.

I thought about this for a long time. Do I write him back? Do I let it go?

I eventually decided to write him back. Some of the things I told him were, "You know you're type of guy to follow thru - but as you are a virtual stranger to me, I wouldn't know that without actually meeting you."

and "You know, one of the worst things about dating for a woman? Waiting for a call - especially the one that doesn't come."

and then, "The one thing you said, though, is both true and not true: I also feel if you wanted to meet me as much as I wanted to meet you it would have happened."

I ended by saying that if he was in town again and curious, to give me a call. And if I didn't hear from him again, I wished him well in his search.

So, Date Three.Point.Five was the date that didn't happen - at least when it was supposed to. And that would lead us to our next installment...