Thursday, January 21, 2010

The One That Got Away

The other day I picked up a magazine and there was an article in it about “the one that got away.” Both women and men told their sob stories on how someone special got away. Well, I’ve got news for you criers: There’s a reason the person “got away.” It’s because they weren’t the one. So stop yer cryin’ and get on with life.

I guess this article hit a nerve because I went through my own period of remorse after breaking up with the X-Factor. But serious introspection showed me that we really weren’t each other’s “one.” Of course, I’m not convinced his new gal is his “one” either, but that’s not my problem and I shouldn’t even be going there. The truth is, if I was his “one,” he would have treated me better. If he was my one, well… I don’t know, honestly. I think I did my best – and maybe that’s where people get hung up. Just because you might feel someone is your “one,” that doesn’t mean the feeling is mutual. And that alone means the person isn’t “the one” for you (or me, as the case might be).

My point is: There’s a reason they got away. They were never really yours in the first place. As King James might say, “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.” Instead of looking at these old romances as “the one who got away,” I encourage us all to look instead at them for what they really are: important people in our lives. After all, we learned something from the one who got away, didn’t we? We either learned something important about ourselves, about the world, about relationships in general.

The relationships we had with these people – no matter how short-lived – left a lasting impression for a reason. I don’t believe that reason is so that we can pine away focused on unrequited love. The reason is so much deeper than that – so instead of crying, celebrate. Celebrate that you are in a different place because of that person. You have a different outlook. You learned something new – about the world, about relationships, about yourself.

So the one that got away? Not at all. That person is with you much more than you’ve been aware of – and that’s a good thing.

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