Friday, November 17, 2006

And a Whole Lot of Space to Breathe In

That's what I need: space to breathe in. And I haven't had any in three weeks.

THREE weeks. It seems like a lifetime.

Since going back to work, my life has been one of almost constant activity. Who am I kidding? The month before I worked, it was pretty much the same, only in a different way. Before I was working, I spent about 50% of my day looking for work and doing job magic, and another 25% of my day trying to mend my relationship with Todd. The other 25%? It was devoted to sleep.

Ahhhh...sleep. What has happened to my sleep life? But I digress...

As I was whining saying, I haven't had any time to myself for at least two months. I haven't been reading LJ...much. I haven't caught up with friends. I haven't emailed. Written. Phoned.

I haven't had time to read. I have a stack of magazines that I received in the mail that just keeps getting bigger. I have a zillion TV shows to watch. I haven't seen the mid-season finale of LOST.

I just haven't had time.

The good news is that my hard work paid off. Yes, Todd's still dating, but he and I are getting along better than ever. I feel connected to him lately in a way I haven't since I first moved here to Reno.

I'm working. The job magic and endless interviews and persistent nagging of OfficeTeam brought me a job I'm really enjoying. Sure, it's "part-time" (about 30-35 hours a week, depending), and no benefits, but my boss is great and the hours are a bit flexible (except on Mondays). Further proof of good job mojo is the fact that the CEO of the company emailed me this morning to tell me that I'm doing a great job and am a fantastic asset to the company. (A bonus or benefits would have been appreciated, but hey, I'll take the email kudo as well.)

As I was driving home tonight for a quick bite to eat before I turn around again to pick up a friend and go to Lake Tahoe for the evening, I heard the song "Hold On Loosely." When 38 Special sang "And a whole lot of space to breathe in..." I realized that's what's been missing from my life lately: breathing space.

I long for some breathing space. For a few hours to myself, during which I could just do whatever the heck I want to. Read. Watch "Lost." Write a letter. Make some postcards. Play with the cats. Or heck, even update Blogger.

When I worked at Acme, I hated my life. Or at least, I hated the last year and half of my life...that's when things really got ugly at Acme. Yet, I hung in there day after day after day because I had three-day weekends. Every time I complained to my mom about something at Acme, she'd say "but you don't want to lose the job, right? You get three day weekends."

Yeah. She was right. I cherished those weekends. It didn't matter how busy I was Monday through Thursday, because I knew that I could always do whatever needed to be done on Friday, and still have the weekend to play.

Well, those days are gone forever.

Am I sad about that? Not really. Life without Acme hasn't been easy, but it also hasn't been awful. It's nice to go to a job where I'm appreciated. It's nice to actually like my boss. It's nice to go home at night and not have a dark aura surrounding me from the detritus of the day.

And I think not hating my work life has contributed to the harmonious atmosphere between Todd and me. I'm not bitchy when I get home. I am not carrying the weight of the day on my shoulders. I am able to come through the door and just enjoy my home life.

Busy as it is.

So, I'm not complaining. Not really. However, God or Goddess or Universe or Angels or whoever is listening, please give me some breathing space soon. I'd really like to watch "Lost."

Thank you.

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