I Suck At Life

Okay. Maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration. I mean, if I truly sucked at life, wouldn't I be dead?

However, lately I have been feeling like I suck at this thing called living. The last few years just haven't been good ones. Oh hell, why don't I just be honest and say that hardly anything has felt "right" since I moved to Reno.

It's the energy here or...something. I haven't felt alive here. I've felt suffocated. Oppressed. And every venture - every journey, every step - I've taken here has failed.

The latest? Well, let's say it began when I had another ominous dream about my cottage. I just felt that something was wrong there (again). The next morning, I decided to pay bills and opened up my water bill. $260! What the frick? It's normally it's only $34, which basically pays for service, as I don't run the water there since I'm not living there.

So...I think "Okay, a neighbor is stealing my water." Wouldn't be a first. So, I do some investigating, and the water company thinks I have a leak or something. I had them shut off the water, then decided I'd had enough of this money pit that was supposed to be my home away from home, and called my realtor. She only works for buyers (which I knew), but figured she could give me a good recommendation.

She did, and I called him. We are going to meet this week and see if we can't unload this place "as is."

Then there's the whole job thing. I can't even manage to get an interview here...I've NEVER had that problem anywhere else. Normally I get an interview at every place I apply for. Not in Reno. Nope. And I don't know why; I'm definitely qualified for everything I apply for.

I just don't get it. If I were a superstitious person, I'd say that all signs point to leaving here. However, that's simply not an option right now. Todd isn't going anywhere, and I'm still committed to him.

So what's a girl who sucks at living to do?