Dreaming

Since I quit my job, I have dreamed about it almost every night since. There have only been three nights that I haven't dreamed about my job, and that worries me. Not the three nights without work-related dreams, but the fact that I've had SO MANY nights with work-related dreams.

In almost all of them (except for the one I had last night), I've dreamed that they took me back. Todd asked me if that was because I want to go back, or I wish they wanted me back. I said neither; I think that subconsciously, I think I made a mistake.

My dream last night indicated that I did the right thing, though. Yes, they had taken me back (or perhaps I hadn't yet quit). But, they had taken away all the nice things about my job, including a computer monitor, which they had given to Michelle. When they attempted to do one more crappy thing, I just up and left like I did in real life.

I honestly think I did the right thing by leaving, but without a back up plan in place, I feel like I'm floundering.

Which brings me to my online absence...hunky told me he was tired of me "moping" around the house, and asked me to please leave. See, I normally visit my folks the second Saturday of every month. This month, though, I was hesitating on when to leave, if I should leave, etc. Hunky said "Please...leave! I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I really need some time away."

After the initial shock of having him ask me to leave, I realized in a way, he was right. Though I sincerely believe I haven't been moping, I think time away was needed. So, I made the plans to visit my folks as planned, and then made reservations at a hotel in Carmel to have a mini-vacation at the beach.

As soon as hunky discovered I was going to Carmel, he said "Hey, that sounds like fun. Mind if I join you?" Um, I thought he wanted some distance...so I said "no." Because, see, by then I'd already had a plan of sorts in place for my time off.

The trip was nice, and I even extended it while I was down there. Now I'm back, and the reality of not having a job has hit me smack in the face again. I have done some job magic, but it has yet to manifest itself in a real way. I am looking, though, and have faith that something will happen soon.

Until then, I hope I stop having dreams about going back to Acme. Truth is, I wasn't happy there, and even if they would take me back (and of course they wouldn't), I wouldn't want to go back there for all the money in the world. (Although the three-day weekends were awfully nice...)