Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Wednesday By The Numbers

1) Every time J did something senior specialist-y to my work today, I felt tears of humiliation creep up. No, I didn't actually cry - crying is for sissies. And your mother. Word.

2) The phone rang, but I was nearest to my office phone with the broken Caller I.D. Do I answer and take a chance? Or let it ring? I answered and said, "I hope this isn't a telemarketer." The guy on the other end laughed. Turned out, it was the guy who hooked up my swamp cooler, which brings me to...

3) He told me that he didn't pay attention, and thought perhaps my swamp cooler was on top of my house, so he put his ladder up against my home and climbed on up. He said I'm missing a lot of shingles on my roof. Thank you, Universe. Any thing else you wanna do to screw me?

4) Speaking of screwing, on a whim I went to Goodwill after work. I looked in the protected glass cases to see if there was anything interesting and/or exciting. I saw a book I have on my Amazon wishlist: Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts. It had a big old sticker on it: Adults Only (hence it being in the locked case). I scratched my head. It's not porn. I asked to see it, just in case I was wrong. Nope. No nudie pics, no talk of positions, lube, or condom usage. It's just a book about being more womanly. I guess the people at Goodwill don't know how to read.

5) Dinner tonight was low carb flax seed tortilla chips, low carb guacamole, wine, and two squares of Lindt 85% chocolate. I think dessert will be another glass of wine.

p.s. I bought the book, but I guess if I want porn tonight I'll have to surf over to slutload dot com. At least it's free.

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