Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Observations from the Ellipitical

I hate wearing those little ear pod things when I'm working out at the gym. So, when I'm on the elliptical, it's just me, the overhead sound system and my thoughts. Since I'm not the kind of girl to keep my thoughts to myself, here they are:

1) I saw Turtle working out. He looked a tad bit thinner - but just a tad. I scanned the gym for Vince, E, and Drama, but no luck. I guess Turtle was there on his own.

2) The song One Week by Barenaked Ladies has one of my most favorite lines ever: Okay, I don't make films, but if I did they'd have a Samurai.

3) Speaking of songs, I don't know how I'd get by without a little help from my friends. Last week was a doozy of a week - I ended up sending out an SOS to all my friends, and all but one replied. Without their love, help, and encouragement, I'm not sure how I would have picked myself up from the floor.

4) I Will Survive. This is a karaoke staple, and one of my Cupidian friends attempted it on Saturday at Spiro's. Unfortunately, it is also one of those songs that a) you have to have a certain type of voice in order to carry it off well and b) you think you know it, but when you're up on stage, not so much. So when my friend stumbled over the words, I got up to help her out. However, as I'm tone deaf at best, I performed the song instead of singing it - and as a result, people high-fived me as I walked back to the table. "You sing good!" Um, no. But I certainly can dazzle the crowd with enough performance art so that they are fooled into thinking I do.

5) After reliving Saturday night's Gloria Gaynor impression in my head, I realized that I am a survivor. I hate using that word, but I can't think of another word that applies here. What other word describes someone who was bullied every day of school, yet never quit? A girl who just kept going back, no matter what, knowing that one day it would all be over and behind her? Or how about the woman who fought off the guy who broke into her apartment, with the intention of raping her? I think the word "survivor" does apply - even if it's somewhat cliche and overused.

6) "Panama" is probably not the best song to be lip-syncing along with while some blonde hunky guy is staring at you. After mouthing "Ah, you reach down, between my legs, ease the seat back," I looked up and saw Blondie's mouth drop open, and he almost fell off the lower back machine. Oh well...not my fault he's easily turned on. Maybe he should wait to take his Cialis until after he leaves the gym.

7) Speaking of Cialis, the old guys at the gym love me.

8) It's a good idea to keep your keys with you, because when you place them on the public Key Board, it's really easy to take someone else's keys instead of yours. And when you accidentally (on purpose?) take the good looking fitness sales guy's keys and he catches you, joking with him eases the embarrassment.

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