Thursday, February 05, 2009

Eight Steps to Reaching One's Dreams

Someone blogged about eight steps they took to reach their dreams. In honor of their very boring, I mean, interesting post, here are mine:

1) Drink two bottles of wine, then pass out on the couch. Dream about what I really want. Oh yes, that would be sobriety.

2) Wake up. Go to AA. Grab on to some sobriety before it walks out the door.

3) Once sober, go back home and think about what I really, really want.

4) Write it down so I won't forget it: I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha.

5) Hire an interpreter so I can figure out what it is I just wrote down.

6) Decide that what I really really want is to be a Spice Girl.

7) Decide on a name: Scary Spice is already taken, so I register "Scarier Spice" and sign up for dance lessons.

8) Buy real cool outfits that show off my cellulite, and start singing on street corners, waiting to be discovered.

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