It's official: I am an old lady.
Why do I know this? Because I have old lady toe. You know what I'm talking about. You've seen these toes on grayed hair, thick ankled women all over the world. The big toe that defiantly sports a yellowy-tinted, ragged-edged, malformed nail, peering its ugly head up at anyone who happens to look down and see it squished into an orthopedic sandal.
Well, at least I have the good grace not to wear an orthopedic sandal and force my fugly toe to the world. I figure it's enough that I have to look at it every morning and every night. But when lose all sense of propriety and buy those orthopedic sandals, steer clear. It'll be a sign that I've given up on life.
I haven't given up yet, but apparently my left foot has. Let's just hope that spirit doesn't spread to the rest of my body.