Friday, May 28, 2010

Your Ass is Calling

A guy I dated during the 2009 September-October time frame kept my number in his phone. You wouldn't think this would be a problem, except that he has a bad habit of sitting on his phone, causing it to dial my number in the wee hours of the morning. This has been going on for months - the first time, I called him back, and he said he was sorry - he didn't realize his ass had dialed my number. He apologized, and we hung up.

Then it didn't happen for awhile, but for the last few weeks, I've been receiving odd calls at all hours of the night and morning. The latest call was about 11 p.m., and the earliest about 4 a.m. I know it's his butt, because I check caller ID, and it says, "Jeff's Butt." (Kidding - it really says his place of business, because his phone is company-issued.)

Today was the last straw. I went to bed a little too late last night, and was awakened this morning by the phone. I looked at the clock - it was way too early for a sane person to be calling. Could something be wrong with my dad? "Who could be calling me this early?" I said out loud, to nobody in particular.

I grabbed my glasses and stumbled to the phone. By then, the caller had hung up. I checked Caller ID - "Jeff's Butt" had called. Crap - that's it!

I picked up the phone and dialed his number. "Hi Jeff? This is PJammy. Could you please remove your phone number from your phone? Your butt keeps calling me at wee hours in the morning."

"Hi PJammy, I could remove your number, sure."

"Thanks," I said. "it's appreciated, especially since I know you're not going to call me any more."

He said, incredulous, "I'm not? What makes you think that?"

"It's been months..."

"Oh yeah, I guess you're right," and then he assured me he would remove my number from his phone so his butt would stop calling me.

What surprised me the most, though, wasn't so much how his butt seemed to dial my number every single time it sat on his phone, but that he actually seemed surprised that I would think he would not call me again - he seemed to indicate that he had planned to at some time in the future. This is the fourth time this past month I've had this sort of reaction from someone - I don't get it.

Am I really on that many guys' back burners?

Do I really want an answer to that?

Probably not.

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