I recently met a guy with whom I have explosive chemistry. We can barely be around each other in public without a gross display of public affection - so we planned on moving things to the bedroom.
Before we did, though, he dropped a bomb on me. He told me that he had two kids that he hadn't told me about. See, I knew about one of them - a 17-year-old daughter. I was fine with that; she graduates soon, and so that isn't a problem. However, it turns out that he had another child with his ex-wife, a son who lives in Washington state. Along with that is a complicated story involving custody issues, guardianship, etc.
As they say on the game shows "but that's not all..." Nope. It turns out that he also has a son, the result of a one-night stand. Apparently he didn't know about the son until two years after he was born, and the mother is a drug addict, blah, blah, there are more guardianship issues, blah, blah, and so on.
After he told me all of this, he said he would give me some time to mull it over. And I did, of course. He called me the next day and asked if I had any more questions or concerns. I did, and we talked about those. Then he asked if there was anything else I wanted to know. I said no, but that one thing concerned me, and that was the fact that he had a one-night stand and didn't use a condom.
Even if he assumed the woman he had sex with was on birth control, there is still the issue of STDs. And in this day of HIV and AIDs, I just do not get why a guy (or a gal) would engage in sex with a stranger without the use of a condom.
He didn't have a real response for me as to why he doesn't use condoms. He did say that if it was any consolation, he gives blood regularly therefore he knows he doesn't have "the big one." But what about all the so-called "small" ones? Chlamydia. Herpes. Syphilis. Gonorrhea.
Some time after our "talk," we finally did move things to the bedroom. And just as things were about to come together, I asked him if he had condoms. "Uh, no." NO? Not even after we talked about it and planned for it? No condoms?
I put my clothes back on and left. If a guy doesn't care about his safety, that's one thing. But if he wants to also put my safety in jeopardy, it's a sure sign he's not the guy for me.